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SEPARATING

-Baby, I’m different. I can’t stay here,- she whined.

-Sweetie, is that because of me? You don’t want to stay with me? – isterically whispered Jerad.

-Don’t you see it, Jerad?! Don’t you see my white as snow skin, how cold I am? Don’t you feel any fear, when I gaze at you? Have you never noticed, that my eyes aren’t that green, that sometimes it becomes red? How do you think, why my all body hurts whe I’m out on sunny day?

-Chloe.. I don’t care what allergies you have, I’m here, and I want to be with you. Is it not eno.. – he couldn’t finish the question, while she interupted him.

-God dam it, Jerad! Its not allergies! There is no allergies like that!.. You don’t understand, or you just don’t want to admit it?

-Admit what? – finally started listening.

- I am… - She couldn’t finish talking.

-You are..? – he asked after five minutes of silence.

-..Vam.. Jerad.. I am.. a… Vampire..- She closed her eyes, while waiting for his reaction.

-Chloe, stop joking! It’s serious business! There are no such a thing as vampires!

-Yes it is, and one of them is standing right next to you..

Jerad was quet. But than he said:

-Chloe if this is your explanation… why you want to leave.. I think you have lost your mind.. you should go to see doctor or something..- and he went away, while they were next to the bar in the street.

Chloe was standing there freezed like ice cube. She didn’t wanted to understand his words like separating..

-I wish I could die,- said Chloe to herself, when Jerad left her all alone in the street.

Suddenly… She felt anger. She thought “He had no right to do this to me, to leave me like this, I was going to leave him for his own safe!”

After one hour.

While Jerad was walking at the street, he saw a beautiful girl.. the girl was gazing at him.. than he felt cold, though it was hottest summer in this century.. only than when he got closer, he understood how similar the look was… but it was different… he saw the anger.. the red eyes… Jerad felt how it gave him the shudders..

He panicked. The girl couldn’t be Chloe, because when he left her, she was standing next to the bar, and its far away now..

“Or maby she is here? But its impossible.. you would need to be very fast to get here, faster than I come here.. “

Jerad quickly stoped walking, when he saw the girl coming closer to him.

-Jerad,-she whispered his name,- why are you running away from me? Are you afraid of me, when you know the truth? Its me! The same girl, you allways loved.. Remember that evening, when you told me that you love me? You told me, that no one or nothing will never separate us! You said, you will never leave me! But now? Now you’re leaving, now you’re going , why?

Jerad started walking backwards,- Chloe? Why your eyes are red?.. How did you got here?.. It can’t be truth, there no such a thing as vampires… are you trying to scare me?!

-No my darling,- she began quietly move closer,- you see, when you refused me.. I started.. being mad at you.. and… you see.. when I get mad.. I start wanting for blood…,- started whispering, the girl who looked like Chloe, but Jerad couldn’t believe that this creepy girl really is Chloe..

-If thats really you…. Chloe…. i beg you to stop… this is not normal… you’re insane.. - Jerad doubted is she human or, maby she said truth?

-No, Jerad… I’m not insane… I just want to drink your blood, and go to hunt with no worrying, that you just dumped me..-she growled with the last words…

“This is crazy.. am I sleeping? Because this dream is a real nightmare..” – Thought Jerad.

He was standing there, freezed, he didn’t knew what to say. Than he started being brave enough to ask her:

-Is this is a nightmare, Chloe?

-No,- she said quietly,- it’s reality..

-Chloe, are you not mad at me anymore?

-No, and I’m not Chloe.

-What?! You lied to me your real name?!- his face changed.

-No.

-Yes, you did, you lied to me!

-No, she didn’t.

-“She”?? – His eyes was big from the fear he felt. He gazed at the red eyed girl.

-Well.. I’m.. I’m not Chloe.. Chloe probably still stands there in Greenhouse’s avenue… I’m Chloe’s twin sister, and I was watching your little conversation with her..

-Who the hell are you?! – Shouted Jerad.

-I am.. ugh I just told you who I am….. How can Chloe be with you? – she whined,- I’m Jessica, everyone calls me Jess. Now I’m supposed to go, because if Chloe will know that I am a vampire too now, and that I made such a bad joke to you.. she’s going to kill me..- she thought,- well in reality it’s impossible, but she would do it emotionaly to me..

Jerad stared at her, like he would see a ghost.. Jessica went away by climbing to a house wall, made of white bricks.

She was very fast. Jerad just blinked, and brown haired head was gone. Now the boy thought maby he’s the one who needs psychologists help.

Suddenly Jerad felt the cold again. She apeared from nowhere. Chloe was here.

-Who was that? – her face was full of anger.

-No one… - The boy started to think, should he run, or should he stay and talk? He decided to stay.

-I saw her! Who was that vampire?!

He tried to lie to her.

-I don’t know what are you talking about. Remember, you dumped me. I’m not supposed to explain anything for you.

-Jerad..- Chloe whispered, - don’t lie to me..

-It’s not your business with who I am talking to!

-Oh, that’s it! You cheated on me? You knew I’m a vampire? So, I had to use so many of my nervous for telling you, when you knew? – she looked scary.

-I did not cheated on you. And I didn’t knew that you are a vampire. By the way, how did you get here so fast?

-I was runing. – she said quickly, and than she was quiet like a mouse.

-Yeah, right, - boy walked away from her. Again.

-But… Jerad… - Chloe was standing here alone, with no anger, any feelings at all.

When Chloe came back home, she ran to her bedroom. She didn’t noticed, that her sister is back from her journey. The girl closed bedroom’s door and began to cry with tears of blood.

She couldn’t sleep at all, she never liked sleeping when she was human, but now she wished she could sleep and forget everything. She took her favourite book of the bookshelve, and started reading.

Next day she “awaked” a little bit too late. She missed her first lesson. Chloe thought that she should drink something… She didn’t liked the word “blood”. Than she heard familiar voice.

“No, it can’t be her.” – it was her first thought. Only than she realised – Jessica’s voice was different, not much, but different.

-Sis, we’re late, come on, we have to go to school! – it was odd becauce Jess hated school. And now she was happy about it.

-Jess? – she asked.

-Yes, it’s me, what do you want? – she lought.

-When did you came back?

-Yesterday. – Jess smiled, not showing her teeth.

-Oh. Well, I don’t want to go to school today.

Jessica came into Chloe’s room.

-Twinie, let’s go. I want to meet my new friends! – she was happy.

-Okay, but only because you asked me to.

NEW GUY, OLD SCHOOL

When Chloe was dressing up, Jessica was near the door.

-Aren’t you done, yet? – Sister was excited, strange, - I want to go now!

-Stop yelling at me! I’m almost done! I just need to brush my hair.

-Ok, ok, - Jess finally shut up herself.

When Chloe was done with her look, she exited her room, and showed off to sister.

-How do I look? – Fake smile.

-You look wonderful, bye the way somekind of Jerad called. He said, he wants to talk to you, and that he is sorry. I wonder why is he sorry? – Fake sad smile.

-Never mind that. He is my ex. Now we are separated.

- Wow, when did that happen? – Her mouth was open.

-I said. Never mind that, let’s go to school we are late.

They were walking on foot. Near the school they both stopped. Next to the gate was black shining ferrari. The guy who drove that car, got out of it. He was cool, charming, muscular, and ofcourse rich. Both sisters were charmed. He looked at them and smiled, than waved. Only than they awakened from the trance. Chloe got blush, and Jess smiled and waved back. The guy turned around and went to the building. Jess looked to Chloe.

-Did you saw that hottie?

-Yes. Hes so charming. – answered Chloe.

-No! Hes rich, and charming!

-Hahaha..

-Let’s go, I wonder if he is in my class.. – Jessica wondered.

-NO, I hope he will be in my class! – Chloe laughed.

Than Chloe saw Jerad. He was sad. Walking in school hall. He was waiting for her. But still didn’t saw that shes here.

“Maybe if I’ll ask Jess to go to school next day, he won’t see me, and we won’t need to talk..” – Thought Chloe.

-Is that guy is Jerad? – Jess asked.

-Yea… umm.. Jess? Can we go home? Or I’ll go alone if you don’t want to..

-No, don’t go, - She asked, - JERAD!! We are here! Come! – She yelled.

-Shh! What are you doing?! – Chloe whispered quickly, - Look, hes cocming, what have you done?!

-Don’t worry, just talk to him.

-I don’t want to, we talked yesterday!..

-Hey girls, Chloe, who is she? – Jerad half smiled looking at Jessica.

-My twin sister. – She stared at Jess.

-Hey, Chloe I’m sorry about yesterday.. Can we go talk alone?

-No. I’m late to my class. – She mumbled.

-Oh okay.. than, I’ll see you after school, ok? – He was willing.

-Yea.. sure… - Chloe looked down, while whispering.

-Bye! –He ran to his class.

-Bye bye, see you soon! – Screemed Jess.

When the boy was far away, Chloe started staring at Jessica with her mean sight.

-Why did you had to do this to me?! – Chloe yelled.

-Do what? – she looked like it wasn’t her foult.

-Don’t pretend that you’re dumb, please.

-I’m not. – Jess smiled.

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Kiekvieną sykį, vos užsimerkusi matydavau jį, išeinantį iš už mokyklos kampo, pasivejantį mane, apsikabinantį ir nusišypsantį. Kiek kartų taip aš jį isivaizdavau? Kiek kartų norėjau, kad jis sugrįžtų? Kiek kartų troškau, kad viskas būtų kaip buvo vos prieš mėnesį? Bet jo jau nebebuvo. Jis išėjo. Savo noru, paliko šį pasaulį. Jis tėra mano angelas sargas, nusižengęs taisyklėms. Daugiau jo gyvo niekad nebepamatysiu. O gal?.. Nebent.. Nebent pati pateksiu ten kur ir jis. Į pragarą. Už savižudybę. Kaip ir jis. Juk ten patekti taip lengva. Aš jį pamatysiu. Būtinai pamatysiu. Manęs niekas nesustabdys. Niekad! Vistiek niekam, išskyrus jį, aš daugiau nerūpėjau…

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Jo plaukai, juodi kaip anglys, buvo sulig akimis… Jo akys pilkai žalios, o akių vyzdžiai visada juodi lyg bekraštė bedugnė… Kai žiūrėdavai jam į akis, galėdavai prasmegti, lyg žiūrėtum į tamsią prarają pro plonytį apledėjusios upės ledą..

Jis buvo paslaptingas, gražus, raumeningas, linksmas, protingas, žodžiu – nepakartojamas.

Jis tebuvo sapnas… Labai tikroviškas, stipriai trokštamas, kad būtų realybe, bet… tai tik sapnas.

~Agnie Mi -aka- LastGrape.

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Kai kuriems meilė yra trūkumas. Kai kuriems tai gyvenimo tikslas. Kai kuriems tai kliudo siekti savo tikslų. O man? Kas būtent meilė yra man? – Nepatirtas jausmas. Gal ir kažkada maniau tai patyrusi, bet dabar manau, kad tai tebuvo susižavėjimas. Daugiau nieko. Su Juo buvo lengva bendrauti. Retai kažkas nutikdavo nemalonaus. Apie Jį taukšdavau nesustodama. Jis tebuvo draugas. Tačiau po ilgo laukimo, kai Jis pamilo mane – gal pamilo – ir tai pranešė man, aš nepatikėjau. Tik vėliau supratau. Bet aš jam kažką jaučiau daug silpnesnio nei anksčiau, kažką daug trapesnio… ką Jis sudaužė. Sutrupino. Sutrypė. Sunaikino. Aš jam nieko panašaus nebejaučiu. Dabar Jis man tik geras draugas. Draugas, kuris yra mane įsimylėjęs. Draugas, kuris mano, kad aš jam jaučiu tą patį, ką ir Jis man. Tačiau nors aš Jam ir nesakau tiesos, aš niekad ir nebesakiau, kad jį myliu. Taigi jei jis tiki tuo ką pats įsivaizduoja, Jis neturės teisės mane teisti. Aš Jį myliu kaip gerą draugą, kaip geriausią draugą, kaip seną gerą draugą, kaip… tą, kuris kažkada pažinojo mane tokią, kokia ištikrųjų aš buvau, tokią, kokia maniau yra atstumianti. Ir Jis po kurio laiko, sugebėjo manimi susižavėti. Neatšaukiamai. Kad ir kiek sykių Jis begdavo, Jis nesugebėdavo manęs palikti. Su manim nesišnekėti. Aš nė nesistengdavau su Juo kalbėtis. Aš Jam nerašydavau, kol Jis pats neparašydavo. Gal tai reikšdavo, kad Jis manęs pasiilgdavo? Aš – pasiilgdavau. Aš laukdavau kol Jis man parašys. Bet nepuldavau atrašinėti, tik todėl, kad nesugebu nesilaikyti savo prioritetų…

Agnie MiÔ - Mintys apie Meilę, prisiminimai. – The Last Grape.

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Kai zmogus dingsta, kada ji suras, priklauso nuo to kiek zmoniu ji myli ar tiesiog megsta. Jei jo pasigedo tik po dienos ji megsta, bet jis nepasireiskia taip daznai - mazai bendrauja. Jei jo pasigedo po daug veliau, arba jo nemegsta, arba jis turai mazai draugu, arba tiesiog jis igryses :D .  Jei jo pasiilgsta kai jis tebuna tik kelias valandas matomas “online”, ne kaip anksciau visa diena ar nakti ( ;D ), tai reiskia kad ji myli, gerbia, ar tiesiog megsta… :))

Su visa meile ir pagarba,

Visada jusu.

Agnie : ]

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I think im geting boring. not bored. not to me. but me. i am geting boring. im like nolifer. but there is not much people with who i could spend my time. thats not cool. i might not only geting boring but lonely too. i lie. i lie much. to my friends. if i can call them friends. and actually idk who am i.. : /

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